Faye Cheadle

February 27, 2010

Ann Druyan and the Separation of the Mind and the Spirit

Filed under: Uncategorized — faye @ 5:09 pm

Ann Druyan cowrote the Cosmos television series with Carl Sagan, and was his wife for the last 15 years of his life.  I don’t recall how I came across this speech, but it’s great.  It’s a talk she gave to the Committee for Skeptical Inquiry.  She describes the prevalent schism between material reality and the spiritual just beautifully.  Have a look!

What happened four or five hundred years ago? During this period there was a great bifurcation. We made a kind of settlement with ourselves. We said, okay, so much of what we believed and what our parents and our ancestors taught us has been rendered untenable. The Bible says that the Earth is flat. The Bible says that we were created separately from the rest of life. If you look at it honestly, you have to give up these basic ideas, you have to admit that the Bible is not infallible, it’s not the gospel truth of the creator of the universe. So what did we do? We made a corrupt treaty that resulted in a troubled peace: We built a wall inside ourselves.

It made us sick. In our souls we cherished a myth that was rootless in nature. What we actually knew of nature we compartmentalized into a place that could not touch our souls. The churches agreed to stop torturing and murdering scientists. The scientists pretended that knowledge of the universe has no spiritual implications.

It’s a catastrophic tragedy that science ceded the spiritual uplift of its central revelations: the vastness of the universe, the immensity of time, the relatedness of all life and it’s preciousness on this tiny world.

February 14, 2010

The Vegetarian Myth

Filed under: Uncategorized — faye @ 4:50 pm

Hi Everyone!  Here’s a little review of a book I finished recently.  It’s adapted from a short speech I made in Toastmasters:

After 20 years as a vegan, author Lierre Keith sat at her kitchen table, distraught.  Her health was in shambles, and she had just been told by her doctor that needs to eat meat again to heal.  It was an emotional experience for her, but she was at the end of her rope.  She had caved in and bought a can of tuna fish.  Ms. Keith describes this scene herself in her book, The Vegetarian Myth.

I sat at my kitchen table with a plastic fork.  I didn’t use my silverware or my dishes.  I opened the can.  How could I actually do this?  I broke it down into the tiniest steps.  Pick up the fork.  Put the fork in the tuna. I was so desperate.  Pain was the inhabitant of my body, and I was only the shadow it cast.  Lift the fork toward you. I had come to the end.  Open your mouth. And I was so, so tired.

I ate it.

I don’t know how to describe what happened next.  ”I felt like I was coming out of a coma,” one ex-vegan told me.  ”It was like being plugged into a low-voltage battery,” another friend said.  I could feel every cell in my body — literally, every cell — pulsing.  And finally, finally being fed.

Oh, god, I thought: this is what if feels like to be alive.

I put my head down and sobbed.

Ms. Keith’s journey started at 16, when she decided to become a vegan.  She grew up in the 60s and 70s, looking up to environmentalist icons like Iron Eyes Cody and Rachel Carson. She had rejected the factory farming model for it’s inhumane treatment of animals and the harm it does to the environment.  However, after twenty years with episodes of low blood sugar, an absent menstrual period, and debilitating back problems, her deteriorating health was one of the main reasons she began to question whether or not it was right for her to be a vegan.  In addition, the difficulties of raising her own garden without the use of animal products led her to see the real consequences of her choices.

The most important elements for healthy soil are Nitrogen, Phosphorus, and Potassium.  You can get all of these things contained in a simple bag of fertilizer.  Simple, that is, unless you’re a vegan.  Lierre Keith read the label on her fertilizer.  There she saw two important ingredients: blood meal and bone meal.  A traditional source for Nitrogen is blood meal or manure, but using these would violate Ms. Keith’s vegan ethics.  She could get nitrogen synthetically, but the fossil fuels needed to produce it would thwart her desire to be ecologically sustainable.  Phosphorus is another problem.  The traditional source of phosphorus?  Bone meal.  The non-animal source?  Sedimentary rock.  But again, this non-animal source has to be mined and transported, which isn’t exactly a green solution.  Finally, to enrich the earth with Potassium you can use wood ash or cover crops, which are both sustainable and from non-animal sources, but this is a moot point without the other two elements of this important trio.

And then there were the slugs.  They would destroy her garden and eat everything that she tried to plant.  She couldn’t use pesticides, again, because of her moral and ecological views.  Her first solution was something called diatomaceous earth.  It’s organic, so at first glance it seems ok.  However, then Ms. Keith found out how it worked.  It kills soft bellied slugs by cutting them repeatedly, after which they die from dehydration.  So that was out.  There were also copper barriers, but that was much too expensive.  Next, the author tried to pick them off herself and release them to the woods, but she was faced with yet another problem.  The whole reason they were in her garden was because that’s where the food was.  If she put them in the woods, she wouldn’t have to see it, but they would die there too.  The solution she stuck with was this: ducks and chickens.  The chickens she brought in ate anything that moved, including the slugs.  Her duck, whom she named Miracle…well, this is how she described what happened, “One bite of bug and she exploded into quacks of joy: this is what I was born for!  The slugs were history.”

This was the beginning of Ms. Keith’s moral conundrum.  Every life form on this earth evolved in a relationship with other forms of life.  There are predators and prey, grazers and the plants that they graze.  What do animals eat?  Either other animals or plants, or a combination of both.  And what do plants eat?  They don’t just get their energy from the sun, they get their energy from us.  Plants essentially eat animals.  And this is what Ms. Keith learned from her garden.  The food chain is not a line, but a cycle.  To put it very simply, an animal eats a plant, it gets eaten by another animal or dies on it’s own, it decomposes and the plants use this material to nourish themselves and grow, and the cycle starts all over again.  The author had accepted a way of life where she didn’t believe that death was necessary to eat.  However, in growing her garden, she discovered that she had been flouting the cycle of life, and of nature, for years.  In order to grow her food, she realized that it begged for the blood of animals.  In order to save her lettuce from slugs, she had to either kill them herself or have her ducks and chickens root them out and do the killing for her.  Every plant and animal has it’s place in nature, and by industrializing our food supply, we’ve removed ourselves so far from this that we have to relearn where each of these plants and animals should go.  This isn’t just something that meat eaters have to examine, it’s something that vegans and vegetarians must keep in mind as well.

Ms. Keith’s book is split up into three sections, “Moral Vegetarians”, “Political Vegetarians”, and “Nutritional Vegetarians”.  The stories I’ve related above are part of her exploration of the moral reasons to be vegetarian in the first part of her book.  In the sections exploring the political and nutritional reasons for cutting meat out of your diet, she challenges the notions that it’s both environmentally sustainable to eat a vegetarian diet and the fact that it will improve your health.

Do I think it’s impossible to thrive and live on a vegan diet?  I’m not completely convinced of that yet, but I thought this book brought up questions that both vegans and non-vegans should consider.  Questions like, how does an annual crop – like wheat, soybeans, or corn – affect the earth differently than a perennial  - like grass, berries bushes, and trees?  What are the environmental effects of having an industrialized agriculture and farmers only planting one or two crops repeatedly?  How does eating soy affect your body?  What are the nutritional effects of removing animal products from your diet?  This is a fascinating book, and I’ve only told you a portion of it.

As a former vegan herself, Ms. Keith approaches the subject matter with brutal honesty, but also compassion.  I admired this greatly even when I didn’t agree with her politics and values, and she definitely lets you know what these are.  For instance, one of her suggestions at the end of the book is that we shouldn’t have children in order to curb population growth, which I certainly don’t agree with (I’m not convinced that the world’s current population can’t be supported by the earth).  However, this is someone who dedicated herself to a way of life and an ideology that she found crumbling before her eyes.  She could have turned away and ignored the questions that kept coming up in her mind, but instead she bravely faced each one.  We should all use her example to be a little more brave and learn about where our food comes from.

More reviews of this book (some detailing more on the political and nutritional parts of the book):
Review by Dr. Michael Eades
Review at Free the Animal (links to his 4 other mini-reviews as well)

October 2, 2009

Spiders are rad…

Filed under: Uncategorized — faye @ 5:58 pm

detailed_rm

This is incredible.  And those spiders are awesome.  I love the gold color of the tapestry!  Here’s a link to the NPR story.

August 29, 2009

The Insidiousness of What Other People Think

Filed under: Uncategorized — faye @ 12:52 pm

I don’t remember how I found this, but it’s a good article:

The Good Guy Contract

Here’s how the author defines it:

The Good Guy Contract was simple:  I would agree to be nice to you, to advise you, to sacrifice for you, to care about you—and in return you would agree to believe that I was wise, compassionate, excellent as a human being in every way, and finally and most importantly, you would like me.

It’s common in the  present culture to believe that altruism is a noble philosophy.  But what does it really mean?  That sacrificing yourself for others is moral and good.  Your entire morality and self-esteem (for how can you feel good about yourself without knowing that you’re moral?) is built upon other people.  I hear a lot of lip service paid to “doing something for yourself” so that you don’t go crazy, but more often, when you see a person or their actions held up on a pedestal, it’s because of their sacrifice.

You might go through life thinking that you’re doing things to make yourself happy, but I see so many people hung up and anxious about what other people think.  I have this problem myself.  It’s pretty easy to figure out what you want, and if no one else is around, it’s trivial to do exactly what you want to.  But it’s so rare that other people aren’t involved.  Ay, there’s the rub.  All of a sudden, there are these other pressures involved.  Well, I want to stay home and relax tonight, but I don’t want to disappoint so-and-so because of whatnot.  Then the anxiety comes.  I want to do something, but I don’t want to feel that someone is displeased with me.  Well, should you be making decisions because of what you want or because of what you don’t want?  That’s what I try to keep in mind.  The author is right, it does take practice.  You just have to bite the bullet and risk finding out that someone doesn’t like what you’re doing.  Most of the time it’s not so bad, and when you survive another’s disappointment one time, you gain more confidence for the next time.

So why are the opinions of others so insidious?  Because it feels so good to get praise.   However, praise is fleeting, and you can’t bring up old praise in your mind to make yourself feel better down the road.  You have to learn to feel good because of your accomplishments, otherwise you’re left constantly needing a praise fix.  You’ll surround yourself with people you don’t care about because they happen to be there.  Your relationships are built, not on values, but on whether or not the other person can give you your fix.  When your self-esteem comes from inside yourself, you can feel happy without anyone else around.  If you feel down, it’s easy to think of all of the good things that you’ve done.  Life seems so simple once you realize this and live your life for yourself.

August 28, 2009

What’s Up with Faye?

Filed under: Uncategorized — faye @ 5:07 pm

Since I haven’t updated my blog in about a month, here’s what’s been happening for the past few weeks:

  1. I finished my fiction writing class.  It was fun!  Some of the class members are trying to get a writing group started, so we’ll see how that goes.
  2. Helped shoot for a couple of films.
  3. Decided I like writing better than filmmaking.  More on that later.
  4. Found out my dad wants to write a memoir.  Neat!  He has some really good stories about being a Chinese refuge in WWII and immigrating to the US.  Apparently he wanted to be a writer when he was young.  I guess now I know where I got my storytelling bug from :)
  5. Got sick.  Boo!
  6. Work…oooo…fun!

To expand on #3, I’ve decided that I don’t like working on a film set.  Granted, I’ve only tried it a few times with amateurs (both experienced and inexperienced), but I found it boring.  I didn’t feel any spark for it whatsoever.  The people were usually nice, and now at least I’ve tried it, so I don’t feel like it was a waste.  I was hoping that if I did something like directing or cinematography, I would be more excited.  However, that’s a really small part of the film.

Most of the time on the set was setting up a shot and moving the camera around.  So there’s a lot of waiting…and some more waiting…and then you do a scene for about a minute.  And then you do the scene again.  And again.  And then you set up the next shot.  This is alright if you get to wait around in a nice comfy chair and read.  But you’re mostly standing around all day.  Add in some cold and wind, and you have a pretty miserable day.  A pretty miserable day of waiting around.

Part of the reason I thought I’d like making movies is because it’s collaborative.  But that can be good and bad.  They make it look pretty cool on all the behind the scenes features on DVDs.  You see Akira Kurosawa hanging out with his friends, having tea, talking about the film they’re writing and just having a grand ol’ time.  That’s if you’re buddies with everyone.  What if you don’t gel with the crew?  What if they’re not as excited as you are?  It’s awkward.  You don’t have this wonderful, inspired feeling that comes from collaborating with other creative people, all while combining each of your best assets to create a work of art.  It just falls flat.  You’re trying to inspire a bunch of people who are bored or have motives other than creating art.

*sigh*

I could keep trying at this, but that’s what I did in college.  I liked something just fine, but I didn’t love it, and after “giving it one more shot” for 4 years, I hated it.  I was depressed and full of self-doubt.  What I do like is writing.  When I was in my writing classes, I was excited.   I had fun.  I liked thinking of stories.  So I’m going to focus on that.  Maybe I’ll come back to film at some point and maybe I won’t.  You have to follow what excites you and cut out the cruft.  And right now film is cruft for me.  I still love watching movies though, so look out for some film reviews soon :)

August 3, 2009

Boot Camp

Filed under: Uncategorized — faye @ 4:47 pm

I’ve been going to a Boot Camp twice a week for a few weeks, and I finally feel like I’m progressing.  I haven’t lost any weight yet, but I feel like I’m getting stronger.  Today was the first day I was able to run up the hills we work out on without totally dying.  It was definitely hard, but I felt like I could handle it, whereas before, I had to stop and catch my breath.  I can also do more pushups.  Hooray!  The beginnings of arm strength!

When I’ve exercised like this in the past, it’s always taken a while for me to see results, so I’m hoping that now my weight will start going down :)  Especially since I’ve been waking up at 5:30am twice a week for the past month or so!

August 2, 2009

Homework

Filed under: Uncategorized — faye @ 11:34 pm

I used to hate doing homework when I was in school.  There were always more fun things to do like play Monkey Island or read really long ubernerd fantasy books late into the night.  And yes, I also did the “but I want to hang out with my boyfriend” thing in college.  Don’t look at me that way…he’s nice to hang out with.  I married him after all!  Anyways, I have homework again, and it’s been hard to break my procrastination habits, but I don’t have the anxiety and loathing for it that I used to.  Probably because I’m doing something I actually like this time (more on the “Faye Decides To Be a CS Major” problems later).

What kind of homework do I have?  Well, the first assignment is from Toastmasters.  I joined to become a better public speaker and improve my communications skills in general.  The reason being that I needed to practice this whole… talking thing.  Being shy, that was something that I always had a problem with.  There was even a moment in high school when I realized I was so awkward at verbally communicating that I just decided to talk less.  Good one, Faye :p

There’s a Toastmasters club at work, and they meet at lunchtime once a week, so it’s quite convenient.  It seems like a bit of a cheesy corporate thing to do, but the club I’m in is full of really fun people.  I liked the meetings, so I joined up a few weeks ago and now have to write my Icebreaker speech.  I’ll basically do what so many people love to do, and talk about myself.  The speech I have to come up with is to introduce myself to the rest of the club and to get me started down the road of practicing public speaking.

I’ve also been taking a fiction writing class.  It’s through The Writing Salon, a small writing school housed in a San Francisco loft.  I’ve taken classes with them before and really liked it.  I started these to get into the habit of writing more (that’s what this blog is for too) and to hone my wordsmithing skills.  I haven’t written very much since high school, so I thought this would be a good way to get back into it, and it’s been worth it so far.  Most classes have you free write every week, so it’s definitely a good workout for the right side of your brain.  My writing habits aren’t the best yet, but I feel like those are getting better as well.

The homework I have for this class is to eavesdrop on other people’s conversations, and try to figure out when they’re lying.  Someone is actually telling me to snoop on what other people are talking about!  The trouble is, I think I’m around too many honest people, because I haven’t been able to pick out any lies yet.  I guess I’ll just have to keep listening.

So I actually have homework that I want to do now.  The problem I had so often when I was in school was that I didn’t see the point.  Everything is given to you as something you’re just “supposed” to know, but the reasons why it’s important for your life are so vague.  Integrals are important because you can build bridges or…something.  History is important so we don’t repeat bad mistakes…and stuff.  This book is really important to read because people have been reading it for a long time.  Never anything like, it’s important for you to read this book as an inspiration for how to live your life or, you need to know about this period of time so that you can relate it to the principles of good and evil and human survival, later using this analysis to judge and be involved in current events.

So, to wrap up this somewhat rambling post, why are writing and speaking important to me right now?  I want to learn how to be a filmmaker, and so far I think that I may want to be a screenwriter or director.  The connection from screenwriter to writing classes is pretty easy.  But what about public speaking?  Well, if I want to be a filmmaker, I’ll have to be able to communicate my ideas, not only on paper, but amongst other people.  And possibly (if I’m successful enough), amongst many, many other people.  So Toastmasters seemed like a good place to start.

It’s funny that when you realize you’re in control of your own life and you know where you want to go, you start to make up your own assignments.  Attend writing classes and finish all assignments given.  Attend Toastmasters meetings and complete speeches in the Competent Communication booklet.  Sign up for Scary Cow and pick 2-3 films to work on in order to get experience on the set.  All of a sudden homework isn’t just drudgery being forced on you for arbitrary reasons, it’s how you become one of those exciting, fleshed out human beings.

July 27, 2009

Happy Weekends

Filed under: Uncategorized — faye @ 2:22 pm

I had a really good weekend!  On Friday night, Tim and I just relaxed with some pizza and watched Terminator 2.  It was his birthday, and usually we’d have a nice dinner somewhere, but he just wanted to chill out.  The next day I cleaned up a bit in the morning and then helped out to shoot Lyman and Marcela, a short film that I’m working on.  I just did sound, so I basically held the boom mic up from 2-6pm.  It was pretty interesting though.  I haven’t worked on films before, so I got to see what it was like.  Lots of waiting :p  What was cool was seeing the film come together after reading the script.  Seeing the characters in front of you interacting can improve the words on the page.  You also have to plan quite a bit.  The director already had storyboards and everything, but we still had to work things out, like keeping the boom mic out of the shot.  The cinematographer and director also argued a bit over “the line“.  And finally, it took 4-5 hours to shoot about 3 minutes of dialogue.  Something I’ll keep in mind as I continue my filmmaking exploration.  After this experience, I set a goal for myself to write a script for the next Scary Cow round, so I can try out being on the creative end of things.

After I finished the shoot, Tim and I went out for a belated birthday dinner.  He had special ordered a chocolate pie from Mission Beach Cafe, so we went there.  I had this awesome eggplant and cheese raviolis.  The cheese was Red Hawk triple cream from Cowgirl Creamery, a local cheese maker.  So good!  It was a very creamy, but somewhat tangy, cheese.  Then we took home the chocolate pie and I also got a slice of Key Lime Velvet Cream pie to go.  Oh boy.  If you love lime or citrus, this is definitely the pie for you.  I’ve also had the Lemon Velvet Cream pie which is also really good.  After dinner, we relaxed some more, and had a pretty lazy Sunday.

It was just such a nice weekend!  I remember thinking many times how happy I felt.  I had such a grateful feeling the whole weekend.  Grateful for my husband and grateful for the choices that I’ve made.  Here’s to cherishing life!

July 14, 2009

The Value of Men

Filed under: Uncategorized — faye @ 1:57 pm

I saw this article on BBC News the other day, about the development of sperm from stem cells, and the response of certain bloggers:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/magazine/8142104.stm

“Yet I feel compelled – and not just as the mother of two small boys – to make a spirited defence of the weaker sex. Where would I be without my husband to read 80 pages of a car manual, in French, to find out how the back windscreen-wiper works?”

“Women have always known that men are a bit of a waste of space … Now British scientists have proved how unnecessary blokes truly are by creating the first human sperm from stem cells.”

Sure, these are sarcastic comments, but you hear this sort of thing often.  That all men are pigs for instance.  The problem that I see is that men aren’t held up to any standard anymore.  It’s (apparently) prissy to look nice, to clean up, to be kind to and revere your wife (or partner).  Men are redundant and unnecessary, and mothers are telling their sons that what they’re good for is looking up how to fix a windshield wiper (!).

When you say all men are pigs or slobs, they have no reason to act any better than a lazy bum.   When you proliferate throughout the culture the idea that men are useless, why would they strive for greatness?

My husband is a good man who showed me how to have pride in myself.  My father and brother are intelligent and productive men, who both taught me the values I still hold today.  My father-in-law and brother-in-law are both kind and caring and welcomed me into their family, which I’m grateful for.  I’m friends with men that are doting fathers, dedicated husbands, who dress nicely, clean up the dishes, paint works of art, fight for justice, and certainly are no sissies.  They all add so much value to the world, and it would feel like a lesser place without them around.  If you don’t see what I see, maybe the solution is to start looking in the right places, instead of slandering the whole sex.

July 10, 2009

“They’re just so…cold”

Filed under: Uncategorized — faye @ 1:33 am

Atlas Shrugged is my favorite novel.  I’m re-reading it now, and had the opportunity to talk about it very briefly with some of the members of my book club.  A couple of women mentioned that they thought the characters were very cold and they wished they could see more emotion from them.  At the time, I explained that these characters represent an ideal, and not flesh and blood people.  Ayn Rand writes in a Romantic style, so if you want Naturalism, her novels are not the place to look for it.  However, when I thought more about this later, I realized that there’s another aspect of the novel that I neglected to mention.  These characters aren’t unemotional.  They’re just not emotional about the things that most people are emotional about.  For instance, what other people think of you, whether or not you’ll find love, or how to go about pursuing your dreams.  I realized that this is what I love so much about these characters.  They know what they want and how to get it.  They have pride in themselves and don’t need the approval of others.  Romantic love feeds their souls like any other person, but finding a soulmate is not their primary purpose in life.

Dagny Taggert feels elation and joy at the grandeur of her coming out ball, but utter disappointment when none of the young men attending live up to it’s beauty.  She rages at her brother Jim when she realizes that he’s using her to save his own hide while also stabbing her in the back.  Hank Rearden knows exactly what to do at his factories, when he’s pursuing his goals of making one of the best metals in the world.  But in his home, surrounded by his sneering wife, his ungrateful mother, and his purposeless brother, he is tortured when he doesn’t even know how to speak to them and tethered by a sense of duty to take care of them.  When Hank and Dagny meet Ellis Wyatt after the success of the John Galt Line, they are all thrilled to be surrounded by true peers and individuals of strength for one fleeting moment.  All such beautiful and heartbreaking scenes.  How could you say these are cold people?

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