Tim and I attended ATLOSCon a few weeks ago, and ever since then I’ve been chewing on all of the ideas that I learned about there. I learned things about temperament, style, the fixed mindset versus the growth mindset, and building community.
The first class that really stuck with me was the temperament class. It was all about the ways in which people are different and how to take that into consideration in our relationships. They used Myers-Brigg personality types to help explain this, and the Thinking/Feeling dichotomy was really relevant to where Tim and I disagree the most. The main difference in these types is that the “thinking” type of person prefers to take a step back and judge things from a distance whereas the “feeling” type of person doesn’t hesitate to talk about how they’re feeling.
Feelings are hard for me, whereas Tim is very comfortable with them. He knows what he feels and why and wants to talk about it right away. I need a little while to even figure out why I’m feeling a certain way and if it’s ok to feel that way. Only after that can I approach a conflict or problem solve. I had usually tried to talk about conflicts right away because I thought I would be hiding things if I didn’t. This class really encouraged me to recognize when distance was actually better for me. Of course, Tim is still really great at making sure I don’t overanalyze :)
The other idea that was new to me was the fixed mindset versus a growth mindset (this comes from the psychologist Carol Dweck). A fixed mindset is when you think people are inherently talented or intelligent and can do nothing to change those innate skills. The growth mindset is when you believe you can train yourself in a skill and get better and better.
You can have one of these mindsets overall, or you can have a fixed mindset about certain things and a growth mindset about others. The speaker mentioned that she typically had a growth mindset when it came to learning and found it easy to study even when a subject was difficult to her at first. But she had a fixed mindset when it came to sports. She used to believe that she just wasn’t athletic and never attempted to get better in that area. Once she was introduced to the idea of these two mindsets, she could break out of that mold and use the same persistence she had used with her studies in improving her fitness.
There’s so much more I want to share from this conference, but I think I’ll save them for their own posts. I’m especially excited about how to build a better community. But I’ll talk about that later. Oh, the suspense!